Scuola dei Duri: School of Hard Knocks

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Scuola dei Duri: School of Hard Knocks

February 28, 2012 by orvietoorbust

“You’re an expatriate. You’ve lost touch with the soil. You get precious. Fake European standards have ruined you. You drink yourself to death. You become obsessed by sex. You spend all your time talking, not working. You are an expatriate, see? You hang around cafés.”

– Ernest Hemmingway

Ahhh…the adventure and discovery of learning about my newly-adopted nation and how it functions – from the everyday (taking a number at the post office) and mundane (small town news and gossip travels like wildfire), to the intricacies of governmental bureaucracy (it took me an entire afternoon and ten forms to deposit money in a bank account). Mastery of a new system takes an adjustment period. How long my learning curve will be is entirely in my hands. My passport may say I am Italian now, but I know this is a legal technicality. I am a stranger learning to live the way people live here and it isn’t always straightforward.

A rosy outlook, tongue-biting and an almost Pollyannaish mind set is how I roll these days. Like muttering about the August sun shining bright and hot – complain if you will, but the sun will continue to beat down on you. My days are about sink or swim, and being educated one mistake at a time. You live, you learn.

by Toni DeBella

Posted in Americans Abroad, Expat in Italy, Italy, Living abroad, Travel | Tagged Ernest Hemmingway, Expats in Italy, living in Italy, small town news | 11 Comments

11 Responses

on February 28, 2012 at 5:26 pm | Reply janinevasta

Here I was worrying because we hadn’t heard from you in a while….And poor you were probably stuck in a queue! It will all be worth it Toni! Just keep thinking where you’d rather be and enjoy the scenery as you wait in line. Your number will come up eventually! Abbraccioni, Jxx
- on February 28, 2012 at 11:09 pm | Reply orvietoorbust
  
  Janine, Okay, your comment was so funny I actually laughed out loud (LOL)!!! Only you know frustration is all part of the beautiful life! Hugs to you. Toni.
  - on March 4, 2012 at 2:17 am janinevasta
    
    Toni, I’ve been savouring your gorgeous reply all week. Thank you. To love and live Italy well is to see the funny side. Just ask the Italians! Jxx
on February 28, 2012 at 11:49 pm | Reply Debra Kolkka

We have had great service at the bank. We pay plenty for it but it has been very efficient. I have to queue for hours at the post office usually, but I had a win this morning, there was nobody else there.
- on February 29, 2012 at 9:07 am | Reply orvietoorbust
  
  Debra. I do like how there are chairs to wait at the Postale with your number in hand. Beats standing up, like we have to do in the U.S. Toni
on February 29, 2012 at 4:50 am | Reply Susan Evans

Ahh, yes, I know that post office well. It’s not much different in Todi. You are not alone.
- on February 29, 2012 at 9:06 am | Reply orvietoorbust
  
  Yes, I know…millions of Italians are with us! See you Friday! Looking forward to it. Toni
on February 29, 2012 at 11:19 pm | Reply BrowsingRome_Diana

Hi Toni, we were just discussing the post office dilemma on Twitter yesterday! As much as one can love Italy, you are brought back to earth when you have to deal with bureaucracy. Love your quote, “you live, you learn” and may I add ” you smile, you love” It’s after all, the experiences that enriches your life.
- on February 29, 2012 at 11:55 pm | Reply orvietoorbust
  
  Diana, It’s true. I was hoping that I conveyed that very sentiment in my piece. Like a love affair, you have to love the “whole” person (or in this case, country), taking the good with the bad…in the end, I love Italy. Punto! Today I will know when my appointment for the dentist in Rome is, so maybe we can meet for coffee while I am in town. Can I let you know? Hugs. Toni
on March 3, 2012 at 5:29 am | Reply Martha Hubbard (@MeSaare)

Hemingway was a hypocrite and an idiot. He was too busy striking poses to bother assimilating into a new country – any new country. As a veteran of adjusting to life in 5 European countries, I’d say you are doing just fine – excellent even. Hang on to your smile and your sense of humour – it’ll all come right – I promise.
- on March 3, 2012 at 5:32 am | Reply orvietoorbust
  
  Thank you Martha. Five countries, then you are an expert of adaption. Thank you for writing and for the encouraging words. Toni