Life is Like a Bowl of Pasta: The Spaghetti Theory
January 28, 2012 by orvietoorbust
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”-C.S. Lewis
Every single one of us has our own unique and special mechanism for coping and strategizing our way through the world’s challenges. I find that what works best for me is a random, shotgun-style approach to personal achievement. I call it the “Spaghetti Theory”: throw everything you have at a predicament and see what sticks.
This philosophy encompasses a combination of the law of averages, blood, sweat and tears, and a bit of dumb luck. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t, but in less than two weeks I will be heading for Italy again – launching “Phase One” of my grand scheme. I am so close that I can almost taste it. For nearly seven years I have been feverishly “flinging noodles” at the walls of life in a concentrated effort to reach my goal. I’ve been plotting, concocting, commiserating and essentially boring the living daylights out of my friends, family and even complete strangers.
“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” – Winston Churchill
Curiously, as my objective moved from the realm of fantasy into the universe of real and tangible
possibility, an odd thing happened – I began to experience a disbelief that I could actually get what I want, followed by a paralyzing fear that perhaps once I get it, I might not want it any longer! Here I am, standing on the precipice of my dream coming true and finding myself in such a discombobulated state of mind. Of course you’ve heard of a fear of failure, but did you know that some folks actually suffer from a fear of success? After all the obsessing and preoccupation, could I honestly be afraid of crossing the finish line? …Nope, don’t think so.
Teetering atop the high-dive, I am ready to take the plunge into the deep-end. There is no way in hell I’m going to come this close to the prize, only to turn in retreat before getting my just desserts. I owe it to myself and to the many friends who have already blazed the trail abroad or who are taking up the rear. I am not so special. I am only one of many dreamers of an Italian life.
by Toni DeBella
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Posted in Expat in Italy, Italy, Travel, Uncategorized | Tagged fear of failure, fear of success, Italy, Spaghetti theory, travel | 10 Comments
possibility, an odd thing happened – I began to experience a disbelief that I could actually get what I want, followed by a paralyzing fear that perhaps once I get it, I might not want it any longer! Here I am, standing on the precipice of my dream coming true and finding myself in such a discombobulated state of mind. Of course you’ve heard of a fear of failure, but did you know that some folks actually suffer from a fear of success? After all the obsessing and preoccupation, could I honestly be afraid of crossing the finish line? …Nope, don’t think so.
Teetering atop the high-dive, I am ready to take the plunge into the deep-end. There is no way in hell I’m going to come this close to the prize, only to turn in retreat before getting my just desserts. I owe it to myself and to the many friends who have already blazed the trail abroad or who are taking up the rear. I am not so special. I am only one of many dreamers of an Italian life.
Orvieto or Bust: 
I Love that Churchill quote! Fear of success .. yep, that’s a good one .. I guess when one only knows how to cope with failure .. it will take time to be able to live with success .. it’s a process. Great Post!
love & light
el
http://mselenalevontraveling.com/
Thanks, El. What can I say except…Brava! I like your attitude and the confidence to be yourself and the unapologetic thirst for adventure. Happy traveling. Hugs. Toni
Thank you beautiful!
keep writing & inspiring others!
A beautiful, raw, inspiring post Toni! We are such kindred spirits I can’t tell you. I am more and more fascinated with your story and will be following your every step. Please post often! For me you’ve already made it. All you have to do now is live the dream. So proud of you! And thank you for the mention in the post. I am honoured indeed. Un abbraccio fortissimo. Jxx
Janine, I know what you mean..we have lived a sort of parallel experience. Your daughter is still young and I know that it makes it impossible to decide things without considering her. I have a son I raised alone from the time he was 4 years old. He is a wonderful man of 23 now – studying, working and living on his own in San Francisco. He is healthy, productive and happy in his life, so it is why I can now make the transition. You are a mother first, sacrificing for those you love and are responsible for. I promise you that it will be worth the sacrifice and sweeter when you do make the move because you will do it on your terms and when it is best for everyone. Hugs and kisses. toni
Thank you for the nod to my blog! I hope we can get together in Italy soon.
Toni-there are many people with dreams. Not all have the determination, guts, perseverance and confidence that you do! You go girl!
Cugina! You are such a great support and always there to encourage me. Can’t wait to meet and when you are in Italy next year we will definately be hanging out a lot. Hugs. toni
Tony this is great. I love the way you write and share your life and yourself. Way to go girl. It was so great to see you last night. Love you and hope you have a wonderful time in Italy. when you get back, lets get together. sendnig you much love Carol
Carol, Thanks so much. It was great to see you too. I just finished voting for you in Best of Marin, because you are the best! Head and shoulders above all the rest of the Mexican Restaurants – and restaurants in general. Congratulations and if I can, I will stop by the restaurant on Wednesday night. Love you.toni