That’s a BOY’S Name!

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That’s a BOY’S Name!

March 24, 2013 by orvietoorbust

From the time I was old enough to speak, I was a reluctant crusader against the relentless ignorance over the gender-bending name my parents assigned me at birth. 1960s Madison Avenue provided only one example to refer to when enlightening people on how to accurately write the girl-version diminutive of Anthony. “It’s spelled with an “i” instead of a “y”, you know, like Toni, The Home Permanent.” I grew weary of the discourse and confusion about my androgynous moniker and envied girls appropriately named Mary, Cindy, or Barbara.

As I reached adulthood, the naming world evolved and it appeared the heat was finally off women with “men’s names”. Thanks to Oprah’s Book Club, Nobel Prize winning author Toni Morrison became a household name and songbird Toni Braxton was a sexy girl-named-Toni babe. Things were looking up in the given name department…until I moved to Italy.

**“Mi Chiamo Toni.” Oh, hell, here we go again.**

by Toni DeBella

Posted in Orvieto, Orvieto Italy, Travel to Italy | Tagged expat in Italy, Living in Itay, Oprah, Oprah's Book Club, Orvieto, orvieto italy, Toni Braxton, Toni Morrison, Travel to Italy | 9 Comments

9 Responses

on March 24, 2013 at 4:35 am | Reply Margaret Leon

Well..Margaret became Peggy (since I hated my name growing up) then Meg and Maggie and the Brits calling me Maggs..I envy your name , Toni, that no one can change into 5 ! And it all came together when I moved to Italy..The music in how the Italians said Margarette Adele Leon.. it took me a lifetime to accept my name and like it…NEVER have to spell it anymore! (can’t imagine how they would have handled Peggy)
on March 24, 2013 at 8:13 am | Reply Riki Schumachef

Hi Toni, I totally understand! My birth name was Ricarda, and I always used a nickname, Riki. So throughout the 60’s was teased about having a “boys name” as well. Guess kids just needed something to tease you about! Made us stronger women, huh? And then I got in to a mans world in industry! Guess I was prepared! Take care, Riki
on March 24, 2013 at 10:54 am | Reply Andrea

I can somewhat relate. My name is Andrea. It seems every person I meet has a different pronunciation of it. Now in Italy, I’m expected to be male. If I say my name in English, no one seems to understand. If I say it in Italian, I either get a confused look, or I’m told I have a masculine name (happened numerous times). At first I found it rude, but now I just ignore it.
- on March 25, 2013 at 12:02 am | Reply orvietoorbust
  
  …Or you can make a joke and be lighthearted about it….that works for me. The up-side is that everyone I meet remembers my name. I love that my friend has me in her phone as “Toni Female”. What makes us different, makes us interesting. toni
on March 24, 2013 at 6:12 pm | Reply Teri

Mi Chiamo Teri! I was going to be Teri or Terry no matter whether born a boy or girl!
- on March 24, 2013 at 11:59 pm | Reply orvietoorbust
  
  Hey T, There’s that “i” and “y” distinction again! 🙂
on March 28, 2013 at 9:20 pm | Reply janinevasta

New country, new life, new Toni??? If you ever wanted to reinvent your name you’ve got the perfect opp right now. But why would you? I love your name. Cool, a little bit retro. Easy to spell and very cute. A presto cara…e buona pasqua! xox
on November 2, 2014 at 1:42 pm | Reply Toni

I have felt your pain..I only knew one other female Toni while growing up. Now I embrace my (our) unique moniker :).
- on November 2, 2014 at 1:49 pm | Reply orvietoorbust
  
  Hi Toni. Nice to meet you! We are such a rare breed and you’re right…WE MUST EMBRACE. I like my name now (although I must constantly explain to Italians that my name isn’t spelled with a “Y”. What’s so bizarre about that is “Y” doesn’t even exist in the Italian alphabet…go figure. Hugs. t