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Amore di Mamma

May 30, 2013 by orvietoorbust

Every single path we take in life has its price to pay. Fulfilling my dream comes at the expense of living far away from my son.

Today I especially felt the sting of that choice as I accompanied Andrew to the train station. I decided not to see him off at the airport because he absolutely hates it when I make public displays of emotion.

Honestly, I should have earned an Academy Award for this morning’s subtle and realistic performance as the upbeat and nonchalant Mom…smiling as I gave him a big hug, two kisses on the cheek (Italian style) and waved goodbye through the train window. I waited until I was on the Metro back home to burst into tears.

Andrew arrived in Rome in January to do a semester of university study. This once shy, introverted child had become a confident, independent and adventurous man. It’s astonishing how quickly he immersed himself into the experience: A year ago he was asking me, “How do you say “fork” in Italian?” and now I’m asking him, “Should I use the imperfect or simple past in this situation?” I admit it does bug me a little when he orders the dinner in a restaurant to avoid the embarrassment of his mother (who’s been studying the language for six-something years) mispronouncing menu items. I suppose I should be used to it by now – he’s been smarter than me since the third grade.

We spent his last day in Italy quietly walking around Rome. I could tell he was sad too, but he claimed he was just tired. I know he’s ready to return to his life in San Francisco and resume his studies, earn his degree, begin a career and get on with building the life he wants for himself. I want that for him too, but I will miss my Amore di Mamma more than I can say.

by Toni DeBella

Posted in Italy, Living abroad, Living in Italy, Orvieto, Orvieto Italy, Rome, San Francisco, Travel, Travel to Italy, Uncategorized | Tagged Amore di Mamma, Orvieto, orvieto italy, Rome | 20 Comments

20 Responses

on May 30, 2013 at 4:50 am | Reply Fernando Fabbrini

Great, dear Toni! Lascia il tuo cuore guidare la tua vita, sempre…
- on May 30, 2013 at 4:56 am | Reply orvietoorbust
  
  si, Ho fatto, ma…..xxo t
on May 30, 2013 at 4:52 am | Reply Cynthia Selfridge

Beautiful!

_____
- on May 30, 2013 at 6:14 am | Reply orvietoorbust
  
  Thank you cara.t
on May 30, 2013 at 5:18 am | Reply Margaret Leon

My dear new friend..just surround yourself with all those who love you here. How proud you must be of him..quite brave to live in a foreign country..but how much he has grown. He’ll be baaaaack.
- on May 30, 2013 at 6:15 am | Reply orvietoorbust
  
  Margaret. Thank you for those words. I am very proud of him and actually he’s already planning his next visit (but I suspect it’s more to see the friends he made here than to only visit me). I’ll take it. See you soon. xxo. t
on May 30, 2013 at 7:18 am | Reply janinevasta

Toni carissima. This is so beautiful and having met you properly just yesterday I can only say it is a reflection of the beautiful person you are. Un abbraccio stretto xox
on May 30, 2013 at 7:26 am | Reply cichand

So eloquently put. Brian has been home for the month of May and it’s been a joy to get to know him as a young man and hear about his plans and insights into his film and television career. I also found him very thoughtful as he considers his different decisions he has to make in December when his working Visa in England comes to an end. He’s loving his life in London and making a small living doing many voice over narrations for corporate videos, video games and commercials and has a lovely English Rose ( girlfriend) of almost 4 years.
Enjoy your insights to your fine young man.
- on May 30, 2013 at 8:08 am | Reply orvietoorbust
  
  Thanks C. It’s quite a gift to spend whatever time we can with them. Andrew is back in SF now. Tell Brian to send Andrew a message on FB if he get’s the chance. I am sure he’d like to hear from him. Big hug to Bri from me. Hugs to you too. t
on May 30, 2013 at 7:36 am | Reply Gillian

Beautiful. Mine will be in senior in high school next year and I am already feeling the “this is the last x,y,z….” Hard stuff being a mama.
- on May 30, 2013 at 8:09 am | Reply orvietoorbust
  
  Yeah, but worth every single moment. Right? xxo t
on May 30, 2013 at 8:33 am | Reply Victoria

Cara Toni…
“Parting is such sweet sorrow…” As you have pursued your dream, you have paved the path for Andrew to do the same. What better gift could you bestow? Abbracci from afar…
Victoria
on May 30, 2013 at 9:22 am | Reply Paula Scott

You really know how to bring a tear, dear! What a good job you have done raising this young man…missing you ~ Paula
- on May 30, 2013 at 9:52 am | Reply orvietoorbust
  
  Paula!!!! Oh,sorry to make you cry. Miss you too. It was great seeing MML here. Did she show you the photos. Crazy. Me, MML and Andrew all in Rome together. strange and cool at the same time. Hugs. t
on May 30, 2013 at 12:27 pm | Reply Beth Green

I know just how you feel, though I haven’t travelled quite as far… After a drought of unemployment, I took a job that required me to move from Atlanta to Milwaukee four weeks before my son’s high school graduation. A single Mom, having raised him alone since kindergarten, it was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. On a particular afternoon, I picked him up from school as usual, but he noticed my teary eyes as soon as he hopped in the car. “Why the waterworks, Mom?”. I said, “I just can’t leave you.” He replied, “Mom, it’s okay. I’m leaving YOU.” Now a sophomore in college, working his dream co-op job, I know I did the right thing. He was ready. It was only me who wasn’t. I love and miss him every single day, but I have to admit I admire us BOTH a little more for taking that leap!
- on May 30, 2013 at 2:00 pm | Reply orvietoorbust
  
  Brava. t
on May 30, 2013 at 5:27 pm | Reply deniseblackmanDenise

Hard to see him go but what a pleasure to see him make it on his own in a foreign country! I am glad I got to meet your Andrew, next year you can meet my Andrew in Italy! It is so rewarding to see our children turn into fine young adults. Hugs-D.
- on May 31, 2013 at 12:35 am | Reply orvietoorbust
  
  Cugina. Looking forward to meeting Andrew too. How’s it going with your new bathroom? xxo t
on June 1, 2013 at 4:05 am | Reply SearchingForBernini

Another nice entry Toni. I’m sure Andrew had a great time seeing you!
on June 2, 2013 at 9:15 pm | Reply Gail Willits

I absolutely loved this posting, Toni, and hope you are doing well!!! Hugs, Gail

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