Orvieto or Bust:

Romeo and Juliet

Chosy, an American woman living in Rome decided to dip back into the dating pool after a long hiatus from romance. She was curious to know if being a single woman in Italy was any less disappointing than in the U.S.

For her first foray back in the game, Chosy picked OKCupid’s free mobile App as the platform for finding an Italian mate online. Not knowing what to expect, she was pleasantly surprised by the number of responses she’d received. Within minutes of posting her profile, she had more than a half-dozen emails in her inbox from men who thought she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

“The girl of their dreams”, many declared. “It was totally amazing!”

The first man to write Chosy was an engineer from Milan – a widower whose wife had died in a tragic car accident. He had a teenage daughter named Cinzia. “He wrote with such emotion and passion of his love for me.”

They were lining up for Chosy.

“Another gentleman from Trieste was super keen on me. He was also a widower and an engineer, but his wife had died of cancer, not in a car crash, and his daughter’s name was Giulia, not Cinzia.”

Chosy gushes, “I’ve learned that the Latin Lover is still alive and well in Italy!”

Casanova

SWIPE RIGHT

Taking a different tack, pretty brunette and yoga enthusiast Cuteyogi uses Tinder as a networking tool to find dates/employment opportunities in the Italian capital. She’s figured out a way to zero in on professionals in her field and then segue the hook-ups into spontaneous job interviews.

When Mark, an executive for an international organization in Rome was asked his opinion on Cuteyogi’s unique approach to finding a job and love at the same time, he had nothing but good things to say. “In this competitive job market”, Mark explains, “you’ve got to think outside the box. It’s really just taking Linkedin one step further.”

Paolo and Francesca – Dante’s Divine Comedy

MEETING YOUR MATCH

Mswrite, a slinky, blond editor and self-described cynic on sabbatical in the Eternal City hasn’t had much luck on Match.com. Paying a whopping 45£ ($68) for a month’s subscription, she’s highly skeptical that she’ll ever receive a return on her investment.

“Italian men these days don’t seem to want to put in the time and effort it takes to form a love connection.” She blames social media. “If someone can’t be bothered to use more than 140 characters (the average Tweet) to introduce themselves, I figure they don’t have the attention span to be in a long-term relationship.”

Rudolf Valentino

After several weeks of vetting potential suitors, Mswrite admits to being discouraged and befuddled. “Why in the world, in this day and age, are people still taking selfies in the mirror?” It makes her worry that these guys don’t have any friends to take the photo for them, or worse, that they’re not smart enough to know there’s a feature on their phone that turns the camera towards them.

As opinionated as Mswrite is, she resists the urge to offer advice. “Look, I don’t want to be a know-it-all and start dishing out dating advice or anything, but frankly, what some of these guys are presenting online is counterproductive – bordering on the repulsive.”

EnglishRose007, an exasperated Brit in her late 30s, totally agrees.

She too has come across some pretty shocking behavior on dating sites. “Do you know how many men will openingly and unapologetically admit to being married? One guy even posted a photo of himself with his arm around his wife – her face fuzzed-out, thankfully.” 

On the other hand, EnglishRose007 tries very hard to be forthright, representing herself accurately in her profile. “Of course, I post photos that are flattering, but not photoshopped to the point where I can be accused of a bait-and-switch.”

“Another thing”, she goes on to say, “I’m not a prude, but I don’t especially care for guys who pose full-frontal in a Speedo. Sure, I want to see what I’m getting, but some things are better left to the imagination.”

Mswrite confesses that she’s finally had enough and is cancelling her subscripton to Match.com. What was the straw that broke the camel’s back, I asked?

“A guy holding a dead shark over his bathtub. At that moment, I realized that being single was not so bad after all.”

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